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Personal Finance for the Third World: Banking (CBE Edition)

banking, cbe, ethiopia, queues
series, finance, practical

We have already established that CBE is a nightmare (the queues, the broken ATMs, the teller who clicks keys like he is defusing a bomb, the inexplicable page-ripping they do to poor notebooks). But here is the thing: you still need a bank account. You cannot avoid it entirely. The question is how to keep your exposure to a minimum.

The strategy: use the bank for exactly what you must, and nothing else.

  1. Keep just enough in your local account. Enough to pay bills, receive your salary, handle daily crap. Nothing more. The rest is just sitting there getting eaten by inflation.

  2. Everything else goes to real value. Foreign currency, gold, land, physical shit that exists. The bank does not need to know what you actually have.

  3. If you can open a foreign bank account, do it. Some Ethiopian diaspora banks offer USD or EUR accounts. Even if you are not diaspora, there are ways. A foreign account is outside the local government’s reach. This matters more than you think.

  4. Cash is not dead. In a country where banks are unreliable, cash is freedom. Keep enough at home to survive anything. Not under your mattress (mice, fire, thieves). In a locked box somewhere hidden.(don’t get a safe, that shi attracts)

  5. Separate business from personal. If the government freezes business accounts during a dispute (they do this), you do not want your personal savings trapped in there too.

The golden rule: The bank is a utility, not a savings vehicle. Use it like water and electricity. Pay bills. Get paid. Then move everything else somewhere the bank and the government cannot fucking touch it.

Coming soon: Side Hustles That Make Sense

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