We Love ourselves more than other people but for some reason we care
about other peoples opinion so much
So why write this? I usually find myself giving a care about what other people think and say of me, so i do need to get over this and did a little digging around contemplating philosophizing and what not and some of them do work. I definitely am not saying that i do not care what other people think of cause i am also a victim of that but when i do find myself there i try to get ahead of it.
Topics
Within The Dichotomy Of Control
You can’t waste your time thinking what other people are doing or saying.
Seneca one of the stoic philosophers has this concept of the Dichotomy of Control in which he explains that man has is capable of controlling only what his actions are. Lets say if you were to go out today and it starts raining you can’t get mad at the weather because the weather is out of your control the only thing you can control is how you react within that weather.
Even the serenity prayer tells you this
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference”
you can find more breakdown Here
The Same concept applies to what other people think and say of you, what is within your control is the character you display and the path your own. People Will talk and that is what they are good for. But letting that stray you from your path is not the goal. Happiness is about what you do and say not what other people do and say. Also ask yourself “Who are they?”, people you look up to and respect might not be of the character you want to be or what they show themselves to be so ask yourself. Ask “and do they really criticize your actions”, because certainly we suffer more in imagination that reality, go up to the people you think are burdening you and look at there actions or ask them point blank, cause sometimes things are not what we think them to be.
Have Self-respect, Joan Didion once said “Self respect frees you from the expectation of others it gets you to yourself”. Ask yourself “Who are you?” not an easy question but always remind yourself before taking action is this what you want to do is this the person you want to become?.
Societal Roles
What are the societal implication of not caring and caring what other people think, now this does happen to have its boundaries. Society is the aggregate of people living together in a more or less ordered community. The Role societies play is an essential one. It passes down traditions, beliefs, values, and customs from one generation to the next, It teaches necessary skills and knowledge for survival and success of individuals but at what cost?. The reason one should not care about societal assumptions over the individual is, if the assumption or the action in question is forcing the individual to conflict with moral and ethical issues, it is holding your from growing, finding peace?. Its the basic stuff we all learned in school or “Civics Classes”.
Immanuel Kant one of the German Philosophers from the Enlightenment Thinkers era, believed in the importance of individual autonomy and enlightenment. He famously encouraged people to “dare to know” (Sapere aude) and to think for themselves. He argued that individuals should use their reason to question societal norms and assumptions rather than blindly following them. This was essential for achieving true enlightenment and moral autonomy. Kant’s deontological ethics, particularly his concept of the categorical imperative, requires individuals to act according to principles that can be universally applied. This involves critically examining societal rules to ensure they align with universal moral principles.
Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel also another famous philosopher from German who was one of the influential figures of German idealism and 19th-century philosophy,Believed that the development of society and consciousness occurs through a dialectical process, which involves the synthesis of opposing ideas (thesis and antithesis). Questioning societal assumptions is a necessary part of this process, as it leads to the evolution of higher forms of understanding and more developed social structures. Hegel viewed history as a rational process where human freedom and self-consciousness unfold over time. To understand and advance this process, individuals must critically engage with and question existing societal norms and assumptions, facilitating progress toward greater freedom and self-awareness. So according to Hegel and Kant the individuals moral, ethical and conscious growth arises from questions the societal assumptions burdened upon them. Like My kid can ask me “Who is that” i can reply “she is your mom”, and he asks “Why is she my mom”, and i would reply “Because she is the only woman willing to sleep with me”.
Jokes aside there are Benefits of following societal assumptions and finding what identity is but if that means your internal suffering, do what makes you happy. But be conscious that as Orwell said “Freedom is the ultimate slavery”
Because if we are truly free them we are enslaved to the things we think free us, its also a concept Byung-Chul Han a south-Korean philosopher and cultural theorist, which for some random reason resides in Germany, Tried to analyze in his book burnout society, how capitalism persuades us that we are truly free and enslaves us in the chains of productivity, producing more, being more effective and so on. In simple words his book burn out society shows us how the current system of the so called free nation leads an individual to Self-Exploitation, Loss of focus and Lack of meaning. Hence supporting the idea of being ultimately free can bite us back in the end.
My Overall take on the implications of societal assumption, is for the individual to self-criticize and analyze their actions “Did you do what you said you were going to do?”, “Are You on the right path?” also be comfortable being the odd man out. Zeno of Citium who is famously known to be the father of stoicism even suffered from social anxiety, his philosopher Mentor Crates of Thebes realized that Zeno was self-conscious what other people thought of him, Crates asked him to carry this large cauldron of soup across town, He knows Zeno is self-conscious and would sneak around not to be seen by the people of the town and he caught him, and right when he was in front of people crates hits the pot with his stuff and eventually the soup spills all over Zeno and of course Zeno is embarrassed and ran of, crates called him out and tells him that no harm has befallen him because some people are looking at him. None of this people know who you are and they don’t care, they will immediately forget once you are gone.
Everyone is naturally self-conscious, your stressing about what to wear when going out cause you are afraid of people judging you.Check out Spotlight effect i might as well say you have to be the Diogenes of the society until you have truly found out what works best for you and what the right path in your life is. I do struggle with this issues as well more than i would like to admit, but this is something you work on and improve over time, and as a side note do not use this to become stubborn and stagnate your views, accept what the society says but be wise enough to analyze it and get to a conclusion by yourself.
Where to Go
So what do you do next?, you have understood what your able to control and what you are not, you have found your rights and wrongs within the societal assumptions you have analyzed and criticized.
Now is time to shape your path and work on your goals, cause in the end what matters is you being true to yourself and doing what leads you to a feeling of fulfillment, Do not burden yourself so much that you regret your choices on your death bed.
It is hard not to listen to critics sometimes it is constructive and for the better sometimes it is ill, so do differentiate and enjoy life.
