Let go of all Attachments
Recommended Reads
- Meditations: Marcus Aurelius
- letters from a stoic: seneca
- Civilization and Its Discontents: sigmund freud
do watch Avatar the last airbender and the legend of korrah ⚠️spoilers ahead
Now this is gonna be quite a longer read but i will do my best to briefly explain everything. So lets start by defining some basic psychological terms. Before we go one and start talking about EGO we need to understand every term by sigmund freud ego, super ego and id.
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The id is the unconscious part of the mind that is driven by basic instincts and desires, such as hunger, thirst, and sex. It is impulsive and irrational, and it does not consider the consequences of its actions.
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The ego is the conscious part of the mind that mediates between the id and the real world. It is responsible for reality testing and for finding ways to satisfy the id’s desires in a way that is acceptable to the superego and the real world.
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The superego is the moral part of the mind that is based on our conscience and our internalized values. It judges our behavior and promotes ideals, such as right and wrong, good and bad.
The id, ego, and superego are constantly in conflict, and the ego tries to find a way to satisfy the id’s desires while also conforming to the superego’s demands. This can sometimes lead to anxiety or guilt, as the ego tries to balance these two opposing forces.
now that we understood what sigmund freud meant we need to go over one more topic and that is the looking glass self.
The looking-glass self is a social psychological concept developed by Charles Horton Cooley in 1902. It states that our self-concept is shaped by how we think others perceive us. In other words, our self-image is a reflection of how we believe others see us.
The looking-glass self has three main components:
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The imagined audience: This is the group of people whose opinions we care about the most. It could be our family, friends, colleagues, or anyone else who we feel is important to us.
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The reflected appraisals: These are the imagined judgments of the imagined audience. We imagine how they would see us, what they would think of us, and how they would feel about us.
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The self-conception: This is our own self-image, which is shaped by the reflected appraisals.
For example, if we imagine that our friends think we are funny, then we are more likely to see ourselves as funny. On the other hand, if we imagine that our parents think we are lazy, then we are more likely to see ourselves as lazy.
The looking-glass self is a dynamic process that is constantly changing. As we interact with different people and in different situations, our self-concept is constantly being updated.
The looking-glass self has been criticized for being too simplistic and for ignoring the role of individual agency in the development of self-concept. However, it remains an important concept in social psychology and helps us to understand how our interactions with others shape who we are.
Here are some examples of the looking-glass self in action:
- A child who is praised for being smart is more likely to see themselves as smart.
- A teenager who is bullied is more likely to see themselves as a victim.
- An adult who is promoted at work is more likely to see themselves as successful.
- A person who is rejected by a romantic partner is more likely to see themselves as unworthy of love.
The looking-glass self can have a powerful impact on our self-esteem, our behavior, and our overall sense of well-being. It is important to be aware of how our interactions with others can shape our self-concept, and to take steps to ensure that we are surrounded by people who support and affirm us.
before we move into the steps of how to completely kill your ego we need to understand what ego death is. Ego death is a temporary loss of the sense of self. It is often described as a feeling of merging with the universe or of losing all sense of boundaries between oneself and others. Ego death can be a frightening experience, but it can also be a profound and transformative one.
So how do you kill your ego ? and why would you even want to kill your ego? So some of the reasons you might want to achieve ego death are to
- To let go of attachments and to see the world in a new way a change in perception
- To experience a sense of peace and tranquility.
as we can see in the legend of korrah a sequel series to Avatar the last airbender one of antagonists in the series known as zaheer (the guy in the picture above). now zaheers main goal through out the series was to create a world without governments or rulers. He believed that all forms of government were inherently oppressive and that the only way to achieve true freedom was to abolish them altogether.
Now we all can pick up on the metaphor of government as the looking-glass self or the ego, so basically achieving ego death. we can see zaheer achieve that when P’Li his girlfriend who was a combustionbender died and he achieved the ultimate freedom or ego death and that is when he levitates or starts to fly.
“New growth cannot exist without first the destruction of the old.”
- Guru Laghima
so now enough rant lets jump right into killing your ego the funny part is this are things we already know but are hard to achieve.
Accept yourself
One of the best ways to kill the ego is to accept yourself for who you are, flaws and all. This doesn’t mean that you have to like everything about yourself, but it does mean that you need to be willing to accept yourself without judgment. This does not mean shy away from trying to achieve greatness or perfection because after all you need your power process.
Serve others
When we serve others, we take the focus off of ourselves and our own needs. This can help us to develop a sense of compassion and humility, which can weaken the ego. and i think uncle iroh everyone’s favorite uncle from avatar the last airbender summarized in one quote
“Pride Is Not The Opposite Of Shame, But Its Source. True Humility Is The Only Antidote To Shame.” the more prideful you are the more ego you have.
Practice forgiveness
Forgiveness is the act of letting go of anger and resentment towards someone who has wronged us. When we forgive, we free ourselves from the negative emotions that are holding us back.
“Anger is the punishment we give ourselves for someone else’s mistake.”
- Gautama Buddha
people are not perfect and are fond to make mistakes and cause chaos knowing or unknowingly. it could be so they can gain power, money or whatever is of status at the time being and sometimes it can be unconscious and just a simple dumb mistake, but getting angry being bothered by this. letting it get to you, the thought of revenge and the regurgitation of those thoughts do good for us. Learn to let go, learn to understand what is within your control and what is not within your control, the dichotomy of control calls it seneca
if your wondering how i made this diagram i found an open source tool on github made by typescript excalidraw/excalidraw: Virtual whiteboard for sketching hand-drawn like diagrams
Break the Social Norm
when i say break the social norm i don’t mean go berserk and do what thy shall wants. i mean break the looking-glass self, challenge your ideas try to understand every angle. but while you are doing this be sure not to mess around with the main pillar of a society or culture the core values that hold it together. because once you break those there is no coming back.
Become aware of your ego
The first step to killing your ego is to become aware of it. Pay attention to the thoughts and feelings that come up when you are faced with challenges or setbacks. Are you feeling angry, frustrated, or defensive? These are all signs that your ego is trying to protect itself.
Killing the ego is not an easy task, but it is a worthwhile one. When we let go of the attachments that we have to our ego, we can experience a greater sense of freedom, peace, and joy.
if you really want to go further than that follow the ten commandments. because then you will really leave the world as is and just get to another spiritual level.
Anyhow if you read till the end. Hope you enjoyed it this took quite a while to write leaving it and getting back to it hence you might get some unlinked thoughts and stuff while reading and said to yourself “tf this doing here” this is my reason. cause everytime i comeback to it i have a new perception and new ego death each time :) !!